1,000 Days of Piano - Day 104: In Between

I’m in such an awkward place. My pieces are halfway memorized. I can’t play them without the music, but I don’t need the music most of the time. In between, I can look at my hands until the music in my head runs out. Then I look up, and I’ve lost my place. So I keep my eyes on the music until the difficult spot that I must memorize to play properly. I’m floating somewhere between STOP-PREPARE and working the metronome at half tempo. I’m in a mental musical no-man’s-land of notes and keys, almost trapped, but not quite. Patience is my only escape. In my zeal to learn the music quickly, I have not taken the time to learn slowly, measure by measure. I haven’t been wasting my time. I just know that it’s time to take my own learning to the next level.

1,000 Days of Piano: Day 103: Three in a Row

I'm increasing my challenge. Recording three pieces in a row holds a little more drama than just two. The pieces aren’t that long—surely the Beethoven Sonata in G, 1st Movement is longer than all three of these pieces combined. Yet there’s a psychological triumph in playing three pieces in a row, even if they are relatively short.

Right now, I really appreciate the slight increases in difficulty in the pieces of the Suzuki repertoire from book to book and within each book. I can slowly increase my challenge as I progress without feeling overwhelmed. I can “make haste slowly.” This is powerful.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 102: No Excuses

I am so sleepy my eyes are rolling around in my head, but since I haven’t take the time to record and write so far today, now is the time. I have any number of reasons for skipping today, but I made a promise to myself that I intend to keep. I am not off the grid without an Internet connection. Have Wi-Fi, will blog—that’s my motto. I’m tired, it’s late, and I was interrupted, but that’s okay. I’m keeping my word to myself.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 101: Cake

Tonight I baked a cake. I wanted a cake, so I decided to bake one. I felt fairly confident that, although I found no cake in my kitchen, I could put together some ingredients in a specific order in a specific way, put them in a pan in the oven, and the result would be cake. I did not lament my lack of cake. I held firmly to my intention and vision, with faith and confidence, that cake would appear in the pan as I rubbed said pan with shortening. I knew, as I blended the butter and sugar into a light and creamy mixture and added flour milk, eggs, and flavorings, that I would get a thick, airy batter. It was not cake, yet, but I remained convinced that it would be, if I turned it into the pan and baked it. In a delicious miracle of kitchen chemistry, it became cake. I let it cool, and then carefully tuned it onto a cooling rack, feeling like a magician.

That is how I feel about learning all seven books of the Suzuki repertoire. At the moment, I don’t have cake. I don’t even have batter. I have a recipe, and I’ve assembled the ingredients. I may have even begun to cream the butter and the sugar. The air smells rich and sweet. And I, despite the fact that I have no cake yet, still feel like a magician.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 100: 100th Day Reflection

It’s been 100 days since I started learning the entire Suzuki piano repertoire in 1,000 days and writing a blog about it. Almost every day, I’ve practiced, recorded myself, and written a post about it. Almost every day, I’ve reflected on the process of learning, playing, and overcoming fear. Almost every day, I’ve played pieces from multiple books. Almost every day, I’ve faced the red eye of the record button and created music to share.
Sitting at the piano, I’ve encountered my strengths and my weaknesses, my talent and my timidity, my vulnerability and my vanity. I thought it would take me until October to learn Book 2, when I may be near the end of Book 3 by the end of October. I have surprised myself with the speed at which I can learn certain pieces. I struggle with playing by sight, yet many of the pieces are not memorized. I have learned more complex pieces, only to “let them rest” after focusing on different music.

After 100 days, I am a better musician and a better teacher, even if I haven’t figured out how to measure it. I only know that the next step is the one right under my feet.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 99: Preparing to Perform

Most musicians prepare for a performance by practicing. I practice, certainly, but I also prepare by recording myself. I’m not just preparing each piece, but the order in which I’m playing them. Today I started from the back of the book by playing the last two pieces in sequence. I’m preparing to perform those pieces back to back. I’m practicing the mood shift from the gently uplifting Romanze from the Sonatina in G to the more spirited Children at Play. I’m adding the pressure of recording two  pieces at a time. Most of all, I’m practicing fearlessness.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 98: Keeping Up

I used to think challenge goals were exciting and dramatic. Now the exhilaration has worn off, and practice feels just as dull and daily as it did before. I am practicing more...a lot more. I usually practice as much as I dare, stopping only when I get hungry or think someone else is hungry or I think the dishes or laundry need tending. It’s wonderful, but it feels so ordinary.
I read a book once that called this phenomenon hedonistic habituation. You walk into a bakery, and the smell of warm sugar, butter, and flour wraps you in its magic spell. It’s so delicious that you think you could stay there all day, breathing in buttery baked goodness. Only the reality is that if you stay in there long enough, the fragrance of warm cupcakes retreats to the back of your awareness. You get used to it, and the bakery loses its charm. One way to rekindle it is to step outside and come back in.
Another way to keep the enthusiasm alive is to learn something or cultivate a new skill. That keeps things fresh. For me the lure of new music lasted for a while. Now I find that the slow progress that is made necessary by a lack of increase in time to practice is fueling the feeling of tedium. I’ve topped off at about an hour at the instrument.

Maybe, though, the ordinariness is a good thing. It’s comfortable, and that’s a pleasant place to rest before gearing up for another challenge.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 97: Catching Up

Everyone knows that the trick to catching up is to do a little more than usual each day. Before you know it, you’ll be on target again. It’s even better when you don’t fall behind in the first place. Yet what happens when you’re plagued with whatever caused you to fall behind in the first place?

Don’t look. It’s the opposite of my usual strategy of measuring how fall I’ve fallen behind and calculating how long it will take me to catch up. I figure if I don’t look, I won’t get discouraged. So I don’t look. I do my best and trust to providence. I can work and worry or work and wonder. If I’m going to do the work, I might as well have the wonder.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 96: Falling Behind

I don’t know if I’m really falling behind it if it’s only an illusion. Or do illusions become reality if one believes in them long enough? Regardless, it feels as though I’m falling behind. I can take the time to figure it out, or simply keep going in ignorant bliss no matter how I feel. Letting the feeling of falling behind get the better of me is not an option. I’m going to put one foot in front of the other no matter what, so I might as well take a glass half full point of view.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 95: Out of Sorts

I’m not sure how my day unraveled. One moment I was bright and upbeat, and the next I was weary and downcast. Nothing happened. I just had my emotional glasses on upside down so that everything appeared as gloomy as Eeyore. I spent the rest of the day standing on my head in an effort to see the bright side of things. Playing the cheerful Ecossaise helped.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 94: Playing It Safe

Today, I’m playing it safe. I recorded Melody, deceptively tricky for all its musical simplicity. It’s a Book 2 piece, and while it isn’t a stretch for me to play, I’ve had to put in a lot of practice to play it this effortlessly. That’s the way of it. What starts off as difficult becomes easier with increasing mastery. Earlier in the summer, recording Melody was a bit of a challenge. Now it feels safe.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 93: Playful

Suzuki’s Allegro and Bartok’s Children at Play are both lively, lighthearted pieces. Allegro reminds me of a jump rope song, and Children at Play just sounds like recess. They both serve as reminders not to take ourselves too seriously. We grownups can be a dour lot with our worries about interest rates and car repairs. It’s good for us to laugh a little, swing on the playground, and even jump in a mud puddle. Sometimes we just need to be playful.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 92: Uncomfortable Uncertainty

Uncertainty is uncomfortable. I like to know where I’m going, and what it’s going to be like when I get there. It’s comfortable to have an umbrella when it’s raining. It feels good to go places I’ve been before. I don’t get lost. I know where the potholes are. I enjoy playing the familiar game. I know the rules, I know the turf, and I’m acquainted with the players.
Uncertainty is unsettling.  I don’t know how to prepare. I don’t know which way to turn. Do I turn right or left? Do I flee or do I fight? I don’t know what unpleasant surprises await just beyond the bend in the road...but likewise I have no idea if I’m about to stumble upon something wonderful. Uncertainty is unpredictable.

Today I was cautious and chose a piece that is comfortable to me. And why not? I’ll find myself in the uncomfortable middle of uncertainty soon enough.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 91: Bedtime

It’s bedtime, and I’ve only practiced for twenty minutes. I chose to record the Cradle Song, because I didn’t want to fortune my family by playing something energetic. I wanted something soft and soothing to play. My husband practices guitar at night to unwind. He usually plays Blackbird or Landslide or Dust in the Wind. I’m going to try practicing to unwind. I’m going to play something calm and quiet and never mind the mistakes. I’m going to relax and enjoy my music with no agenda and nothing at stake. Tonight, I’m choosing serenity.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 90: Kinderszenen

Schumann’s Scenes from Childhood is a reflection of youth through the eyes of a grown up. Everything is smaller than we remembered. The edges are blurred by time and memory. Reminiscences are a bittersweet mixture of pain and nostalgia. We know now why some of the grownups in our lives behaved mysteriously, why promises and friendships were broken, and how we created some of our own disappointments. We know now that we can’t live the past over. We can, if we choose, reflect upon it with compassion and forgiveness.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 89: Forehead to Keyboard

I started off thinking I was going to end up with QWERTY imprinted on my forehead, such was my frustration with technology. I was so tired of clicking on drop menus that led to nowhere that I figured I would just try again tomorrow morning. Playing the piano would be easier. The piano is my friend. Not. The chromatic run up the hill followed by dominant seventh tap dance down the hill, which I have mastered before, proved elusive to my tired brain and fingers. Fine. I’ll let it go and try again tomorrow.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 88: Keep Going

Sometimes I don’t want to practice. Sometimes I don’t want to perform. Sometimes I don’t feel like writing. Yet, I want the satisfaction of completing my work for the day. So I sit down and do the thing I don’t want to do. I keep going. I learn a few more measures. I record a few more takes. I want to be true to my daily commitment. I will revel in the inspiration and energy I often feel on another day. Today I simply keep going.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 87: In Translation

The beauty of the Suzuki Piano Book 1 is that it presents simple melodies with (mostly Alberti bass) chord accompaniments. However weary they may be of nursery tunes, students must learn London Bridge, Mary Had a Little Lamb, Go Tell Aunt Rhody, and others. They are learning more than children’s songs. They are learning play chords and use techniques of theory that are essential to making music of all kinds. They don’t learn the actual theory any more than toddlers learn how to diagram sentences when learning to talk. However, with a chords and variations, they can learn to build a bridge from preschool melodies to popular movie themes.

In this example, I take several chords—E, A minor, F, D, G, and A (major)—play all three notes of the chord at once, arrange them into a variation of Alberti bass, and pair them with the theme from the latest Marvel film. I have translated techniques introduced in Mary Had a Little Lamb and Aunt Rhody, with some additional chords, into a movie theme. That’s when learning gets really good.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 86: Sanctuary

Piano is becoming my sanctuary while living with an emotional teenager, especially as I have Dr. Suzuki as my guide. Anyone who has ever read Nurtured by Love knows that it is like making a kind and encouraging friend. Shinichi Suzuki, who developed the “Mother-Tongue” Method of teaching music, writes in a warm, conversational style, as if he has invited you out for coffee to tell you stories.
In one memorable story, he writes about one of his protégés, whom he took care of as a youth. His young friend had picked up some unpleasant habits that he wanted to help correct for the sake of everyone living in the household. Yet he didn’t want to criticize or nag the boy. He gathered the other members of the household, and they all agreed to adopt a higher standard of behavior without saying a word to anyone. Everyone benefitted from this system, and the ill-mannered boy unconsciously adopted the example set by the others.
For me it is a humbling story, when I think of the harsh words I’ve uttered under the burden of the extreme frustration I’ve felt when my children were unhelpful or unkind. All of the times I’ve said, “How many times to do I have to tell you?” or “That’s unacceptable,” rise up like goblins to torment me. Dr. Suzuki sets the ever compassionate example, gently leading the way to teaching children not only to develop a beautiful tone but to develop a beautiful heart. Not just music, but kindness has become my sanctuary.

As for this recording, I don’t know what possessed me to begin learning a 150-measure Mozart Sonata. I do know that it is difficult to play the damper pedal with gum on the bottom of my shoe.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 85: Gossip

Boredom leads to gossip. Perhaps it is Internet gossip that scholars speculate that Beethoven may not have written the two Sonatinas in G Major and in F Major...or perhaps not. That is a thing that scholars do. They also doubt whether Shakespeare wrote all those famous plays. (Different scholars, of course.)

It is also likely not gossip that Beethoven originally dedicated his Kreutzer violin Sonata to George Bridgetower, a virtuoso violinist of African and European ancestry. The ‘mulaticco lunattico’ as Beethoven described him on the original manuscript from which he performed, so impressed Beethoven that he leapt up to embrace Bridgetower in the middle of the performance. The two were friends until they had a falling out, possibly over a woman. (That is the gossipy part.) Beethoven withdrew both the dedication of his A Major violin Sonata and his friendship from Bridgetower, and the two never met again. Genius is evidently not immune to drama.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 84: Fickle

Today I am fickle. I want to focus on something besides piano practice. The dailiness has finally set in, and I’m ready to move to another project. I’m tired of practicing the Beethoven Sonatina. I want to learn another piece. I want to learn another instrument or another language or take up Chinese brush painting.

Yet, I don’t give in to the impulse. I put it off until the last moment, but I finally sat down to practice and record. Somehow, I ended up playing a Beethoven piece. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that I practice and record. Inspiration comes and inspiration goes. The most important thing I can do is show up.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 83: Ordinary

No day is ordinary, despite the way it may feel. Some days may seem ordinary, but that only happens when we take our daily miracles for granted. I managed to make it through eight measures of Schumann’s About Foreign Lands and People, from his Scenes from Childhood in only two days. (This is yet another staple of the typical piano student’s repertoire that I never learned as a child.) I usually learn pieces slowly, so for me, it appears to be miraculous. But is it? It’s Day 83, and I have been developing the habit of learning more music quickly for a couple of months. Perhaps it’s simply the natural increase of ability that comes from an increase of practice. It may be ordinary, but that doesn’t make it any less miraculous.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 82: Every Day Is an Adventure

Having a challenge goal means that every day is an adventure. Every day I face uncertainty and unpredictability. Every day I face a challenge, a test of skill. Every day I must be flexible, adaptable, and open-minded. Every day I have the chance to embrace discomfort as a learning opportunity.
Once I’ve mastered the challenge of the day, I can relax. I allow myself to feel relief, knowing that’s over for the day. Then I go to bed and wake up and face the whole thing all over again.

The best thing is that it’s the best thing. The daily challenge is good for me. I don’t want to get too comfortable or I won’t grow. I can welcome the adventure, knowing that it’s making me stronger.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 81: Miracle in Five Hours

This is a miracle because on Tuesday morning, I didn’t know this piece, and now I can get through it. The end is a little shaky, but I not only learned but mostly memorized it. Still, I couldn’t help but give a little head shake and eye roll at the end. It’s a miracle of patience, focus, and nerve.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 80: By Heart

I am ironic, a contradiction, but the more difficult a piece is, the easier it is for me to memorize it. No, the more difficult a piece is, the more necessary it is for me to memorize it. I don’t know if this is because I’m particularly gifted at memorizing music or because my reading needs strengthening—it’s probably a combination of both. I feel like an anomaly, listening to other pianists talk about their struggles with memorization when my guilty little secret is that I struggle with sight reading. 

Melody is a deceptively tricky piece in Book 2. The left hand is almost entirely an accompaniment of eighth notes with unexpected intervals to trip up the unsuspecting piano student. I have refrained from memorizing it, so far, because memorizing seems like the easy way out for me. I like the challenge of relying on the music, especially in the difficult measures. It is a distinct contrast to the relentless memorization I’m doing with the Beethoven Sonatina in Book 5. For me, relying on the music to play Melody is an accomplishment because it has so many notes and surprising harmonies. Still I’m sure I will end up memorizing it some day.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 79: Commitment

I’ve learned on forty-two measures of the Beethoven Sonatina from Book 5, and already I want to move onto something else. I want to abandon the Sonatina just I’ve abandoned the countless scarves I’ve started knitting. The Haydn Sonata looks like wonderful fun. It sounds like the background for a silent film romantic comedy. But I’ve already made a commitment to learn the Beethoven. Now I’m in the murky middle, longing to start something new.

Sometimes that’s the way it is. The grass is always green and all that. The good news is that I will learn the Haydn eventually. I also have other pieces to practice. I already have the unfortunate habit to dropping creative projects in the middle, so I might as well cultivate a habit of commitment. Imagine the send of accomplishment I’ll have when I finish all seventy-one measures!

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 78: E-Flat Escape

The difficulty of a daily challenge goal is, well, the dailiness of it. No matter how daunting the task or how great the sense of accomplishment one feels in achieving it, tomorrow is a new day with a new mountain to climb. There’s no time to get stuck in a frustrating loop of failure. If a problem can’t be solved one way, do something different and solve it in another.

Today, I pushed through the E-flat escape in measure twenty-one. I also pushed through the problem of setting up an online nonprofit fundraiser. Instead of approaching the problem one way, I tried something different. E-flat escape. Sometimes persistence is trying something new.

Note: To help those affected by Hurricane Dorian click here.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 77: Endless Loop

So far I’ve learned twenty measures of the Beethoven Sonatina in F Major, which means it’s like The Song That Never Ends. The chromatic run in measure 18 leads back to the beginning, so I could play the same three and a half lines endlessly. It feels sort of like a hamster running on its wheel.
That was how I felt earlier this morning when I was trying to set up an online fundraiser on Facebook. Facebook, in all its digital wisdom, still thinks I’m in Ecuador, where Facebook fundraisers for nonprofits are not permitted. I tried turning on my location settings and recreating the fundraiser, but nonprofit fundraisers on Facebook are not permitted in Ecuador. So I checked my locations settings and tried again. And again. And again.

I finally had to let it go temporarily and do something else...like playing measure 21, which introduces the E-flat escape to something different. Sometimes that all we need—an E-flat escape to something new and different to shake things up.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 76: Lightbulb

I love nothing more than a good idea. I find few things more terrifying than sharing a good idea (save the stuff of nightmares and phobias). Lying in bed this morning, drifting between sleep and wakefulness, an idea came to me. I could, if I dared, hold a fundraiser for those affected by Hurricane Dorian. I could do a Practice-a-Thon, and ask sponsors to pledge any amount, for example, a nickel, for every minute I practice piano for the next two weeks. A sponsor could also contribute a flat fee. If I had many sponsors, I could raise a lot of money.

I was so inspired by this idea that, ironically, I spent the day not practicing but setting up my fundraiser. I’m not ready yet, but I’ve chosen a new piece to learn. I have a new challenge and, with luck, I can help Direct Relief provide medical supplies to those areas affected by Hurricane Dorian.

1,000 Days of Piano - Day 75: Upheaval

Today I am really proud of myself. I put together a playlist on Spotify with the entire Suzuki repertoire, and I endured mild seasickness on a whale watch boat tour. I only had to put my head over the side of the boat twice. The playlist was easy once I discovered that the Piano Favourites for Young People series of three volumes consists of all the Suzuki piano pieces with the levels all mixed up. It doesn’t seem like it’s as much of an accomplishment as it did when I was searching all of Spotify for just the right interpretation of the pieces. Still, no one had put together all seven books in one playlist in order.

I even left my playlist public, which is something I rarely do. I’m a private person with 20th century sensibilities. I don’t feel the need to live my life on the public Internet...until I started writing this blog. Now, my carefully cultivated, reclusive online existence has been disintegrated in a mash up with daily writing deadlines reminiscent of National Novel Writing Month. Now, it’s quantity over quality, which runs contrary to my mindset.

My values, my social image, and my art are all in as much upheaval as my body was on that boat being tossed and turned with each swell. I kept my eyes on the horizon, and I (mostly) kept my lunch. Writing this blog, I can keep my focus on practicing, recording, and honest, insightful sharing with courage and compassion.

Note: The roll up piano is a toy and not intended for real practice. I am on vacation, after all. Still, I want to keep up with the pieces I’ve learned, and I figure the roll up instrument is better than air piano. It’s an experiment.