Thursday, October 05, 2006

90-Day Goals: Day 32 - Discouraging Moments

One of the most important aspects of pursuing a goal is handling discouraging moments. We all have them--Lord knows I do. This past week I felt so down about everything I abandoned my evening routine and crawled unwashed into bed leaving the dishes in the sink and the floors unswept. My nine-year-old had forgotten part of her homework at school and could hardly remember do finish the part she brought home, so taken was she by the flickering light of Disney Channel or even PBS Kids. My three-year-old behaved as if she had grown springs on the bottoms of her feet--and on her bottom, judging from the way she kept leaping from her chair at the dinner table. The soup spilled and the bowl ended up on her head. I called her name and she fled pell-mell in the opposite direction. The tiniest difficulty sent her into a screaming rage. I felt a little bit like screaming myself.
I can't live like this, I caught myself thinking, I can't handle this. It wasn't until later that I realized I'd forgotten that I was receiving the energy I was giving out, responding to my own negativity. I had forgotten the positive messages I was supposed to be showering myself with. I'd forgotten that I have the power to change myself when I can't change the situation directly. If I can just stay centered and see the discouraging moments for what they are, I can let them pass. If I work on myself, then I can weather the storm. Sometimes I just need those moments with my head under the covers, hiding from the world, gathering the strength to face it on my own terms. And if nothing else, at least I'm not wearing my soup bowl on my head. Not yet, anyway.