No matter how much you love your child and how wonderful your child is, you will find yourself caught up in an emotional whirlwind when your child is hyperactive and impulsive with an attention span faster than the second hand on your watch. Handling your varying states of exhaustion, frustration, guilt, anger, and heart-stopping fear is so important to your parenting efforts. So is understanding your child.
Chances are that you are wrapped in a cocoon of fatigue that started when you brought your newborn home from the hospital and hasn't let up since. The first remedy for that is rest for you. Any which way you can get a break, even a small one, take it. Understanding friends and relatives can help you out here. Leading right in to the next remedy is to exhaust your child. Any activity that will tire your child out, from turning your child loose in the backyard to martial arts, gymnastics, climbing, or any other suitable sport, is a good one. If someone else is in charge, so much the better. Any time someone else is helping your child burn off some energy is a time for you to rest. If you can catch up on an errand or two without your child in tow, that works also, but don't try to cram too much work into those precious moments or you'll be even more tired than you were before.
Whenever you feel frustrated, remember that your child is even more so. She doesn't want to ride the rollercoaster she's on. He isn't trying to leave a path of destruction in his wake. Your child wants to please you more than anything, just like any other child. Don't be fooled by the smart remarks, the non-compliance, the forgotten rules. When you let yourself see your child's frustration and sympathize, you'll find the patience you need.
It is so easy to feel guilty that your child has these challenges. Keep reminding yourself that this is not your fault, and you are not being punished by bad karma. Whatever the causes of ADHD, you gain nothing by drowning yourself in a sea of guilt. The sooner you comes to terms with that, the lighter the emotional load on your psyche. Also remember that you have nothing to prove to anyone. Just knowing that you are doing your best as a parent is all you really need.
Your ability to deal with anger is critically important to your piece of mind and keeping the family peace. When your anger is overwhelming, you can walk away and count to 10. Sometimes you can create a suitable consequence for your child's actions, wiping the table, the floor, or his own shirt with a damp cloth, picking up every spilled crayon on the floor, sweeping the mess into a dust pan. For those times when you are angry with your child for being born with her challenges, try to get some perspective in a quiet moment. This is just the hand you both were dealt, and every time you solve a problem or a crisis you become more and more capable.
As for fear, don't live in the future. Just try to keep your child safe in the present moment. Fear is not meant to be squashed down for it serves the purpose of alerting you to danger. The problems comes when you are plagued by fears of the future, by worries over incidents that haven't happened yet. Listen to these fears, and then release them. If you cling to fears of what could happen to your child in the future, you won't be paying attention to what is happening in the present moment.
In order to be the best parent you can be for your child, pay attention to your emotions and try to stay positive. Acknowledge your feelings and let go of the ones that don't feel so good. Sympathize with your child. Most of all, be kind to yourself.
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