It's easy to lose perspective when my ideal of normal daily life has become skewed. I can give my daughter a 3.5 on a scale of 1 to 5, one being typical behavior and 5 being super wacky. I gave her half a point for turning a foul mood around, because I really wanted to give her a four for not listening and following directions, for being extra sneaky about crunching on the pistachio shells that hadn't made it to the trash, and for wetting her panting during outdoor play.
Listening and following directions is a real challenge these days. My daughter doesn't pay attention to what anyone says if she has her mind on something else. My cries of, "Stop! Turn around! Come back!" go unheeded. Her mind is too full of the destination to pay attention. If it does sink in that I am calling her back, she is irresistably pulled into disobedience. Her distress is real when she does obey, sobbing, "But I don't want to!" I feel silly praising her for good listening when she does it with such reluctance and after much delay, but I know I can do it more often.
Sneakiness and backtalk are tougher to deal with. I am hardwired to respond to backtalk (including under the breath mumbling) with severe punishment. I am constantly reminding myself about the message and the effectiveness of the discipline I dish out. The old rules don't always work.
I understand why a six year old would wet her pants, however. Like a much younger child, she gets so involved with her play that she doesn't pay attention to her body signals. I can only sigh and be grateful that she rushed inside to change.
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