Starting over is a siren song that calls us to our better selves. We get makeovers because—starting from today—we want to look better, more fashionable, taller, thinner, younger. We make New Year’s resolutions and Lenten resolutions hoping finally to get into better shape, get more organized, get more fiscally responsible. Underneath all this virtue and self-improvement, however, lurks the old self, the short, dumpy, dowdy, disorganized self we think needs so much improvement.
I’m slowly realizing that starting over doesn’t have to carry so much expectation. I may be starting over, but I’m still me. Whether I appear to myself to be capable and confident or frazzled and frumpy has everything to do with the lenses I’m looking through and the mirrors I’m choosing to reflect what I see and nothing to do with who I really am.
So I’m starting over with this blog. I’m keeping the sporadic, eclectic posts I’ve published over the years. Perhaps I lacked the discipline and focus required to maintain a readable, magnetic narrative. Maybe I still do. I’m starting over anyway. I’m unable to resist the lure of new beginnings.
No comments:
Post a Comment